I was sitting here looking back on my year. It was a year of a lot of changes in our lives..good and bad but that’s just how life is.
At the beginning of the year I lost another baby and suffered a mild case of post-partum depression. It was not a planned pregnancy and although it caused a lot of stress since it wasn’t planned and because of my age and health … I was still excited about it. I didn’t show it though and maybe that was from fear. I thought everything was okay until we made a trip to Birmingham to see the genetic specialist when I was 12 weeks. I could tell right away that something was wrong on the ultrasound. I remember I didn’t talk all the way home except to call my mom and cry. After a long talk with my husband and doctor we decided that baby making is over for me now. I still get a little upset when I hear of folks having more but they are all much younger and healthier. It just wasn’t meant to be for me and that’s okay. I’ve been blessed with one son who is the light of my life and that’s good enough for this 44 year old.
This year we dealt with the illness and eventual death of my mother-in-law. Cancer is a horrible thing and we all know this. It takes a toll on the victim and the family. I actually got to see how truly sorry my husband’s siblings were by how they treated their mother. She suffered horribly and needed them and they were not there. I promised my own mother that I would never treat her that way. I’ll admit I could have been a better daughter-in-law but my husband was there for her and it was his mother….I do still feel guilt I didn’t help more though. I guess we never really truly expected her to die since she was doing better. We are still waiting for his siblings to help with funeral expenses…
We also lost two or three special pet friends this year too. My mom lost her beloved Great Dane Angel and I lost my oldest cat Buster. I want to say another of my mom’s dog died this year but maybe that was last year. That was Muffy.
But the year wasn’t totally filled with sadness. We’ve really had a great year considering. Little boy is growing like a weed. Full of imagination and energy. He’s learning so much and is so intuitive. Sure he still wears me out but I wouldn’t change a thing. Husband has expressed his creative side this year….didn’t know he had one but he has worked all year on decorating the yard with fancy Halloween decor and this Christmas he used his computer to set up an elaborate light show in our front yard which everyone has enjoyed.
Husband and I still have great jobs. I left an organization that I’d been in for several years to start a new career which has turned out to be good for me and makes me feel good about my career again and it’s only getting better.
So for 2009 I bid you farewell……We will spend our last evening with you quietly at home. We had an early dinner….4:30…(when all the old people go eat), then back home to go our separate ways….husband to his computer, I to mine and little boy to the TV to watch a cartoon network marathon. We’ll meet back up later but more than likely will fall asleep before your end…..Happy New Year!