Just a Swingin’

My Fertility Story Part III

You might ask why am I calling it my Fertility Story when it sounds like infertility but I like the think of it not as infertility since I was ABLE to get pregnant.  So now I’ve had two miscarriages and I’m 39 years old (getting closer to 40 every day).  Do I keep trying or just give up?  It was time to get serious.  When I went back to the doctor he recommended I go back to the fertility doctor and we did.  The news didn’t seem as grim this time but it was time to take some actions.  My problem wasn’t getting pregnant it was staying pregnant so IVF etc would not be an option.  He suggested I do the hormonal shots that women take when they go through IVF to help my ovulation be stronger.  I went back and forth about this because the shots were expensive.  Finally I found out I could get the shots from my insurance’s mail in prescription program for like $5 or something really cheap like that.  I wanted to wait a month or so to start though.  It was the summer time and I felt like I needed a break from this whole “trying to get pregnant” thing.  Afterall we’d spent our entire marriage thus far trying or being pregnant.  The stress was really hard on us.  So my husband booked a cruise from New Orleans to Cozumel.  It was hot and the initial getting there and all was taxing but once the cruise began I was never more relaxed.  We docked back in New Orleans and spent a few days there before heading home.  We did things we never got around to the last time we were there like a carriage ride and a cemetary tour.  I’m glad we did those things because two months later is when Katrina hit and I don’t think New Orleans will ever be the same place again.  We get home and I order my shots.  They were mailed and are suppose to be refrigerated.  Well it was the middle of the summer in Alabama and the mailman left the box sitting on my front porch.  Most of the dry ice was melted and I was afraid the drugs were ruined but I called the doctor and they felt it would be okay.

Giving myself shots was not as hard as I thought it would be.  At first I wanted my husband to do it but it hurt worse when he did it.  I went to the fertility doctor regularly and they watched the eggs grow.  When they got to a certain size they gave me a trigger shot and told us to go home and have fun.

Now the wait…………I wasn’t sure what the shots would do to my cycle.  I knew one thing they made me gain weight.  Anyways…..my usual cycle time had passed and I wondered if maybe if was pregnant.  I held off testing longer than most women I know and then I finally called the fertility doctor to set up an appt.  I went in and they did a blood test.  Before she could call me back with the results I had already take a test…YEP!  Pregnant. 

I continued to go to the fertility doctors office for several more weeks (should have done that the first time because they monitored me really well) and all my numbers looked great.  Now I could go back to my regular doctor.  They continued to monitor me very closely but everything was looking good and I made it to 12 weeks. Now it was time to tell people.  I told my mom first.  She had mixed feelings about my quest to get pregnant because of my age and tempermant.  We had gone shopping and bought some Baklava and was sitting in the parking lot sampling it when I told her.  I assured her everything looked really good and this was something I really wanted.

Being nearly 40, I was told of the risks to both myself and the baby.  A some point I was sent to a specialist who did all kinds of tests and screens and ultra sounds to see if the baby had downs etc.  This was also the appt where we would find out the sex of the baby.  It was a very overwhelming appt when he started telling us the percentages and likelihoods of having a baby with something wrong and the fact that my baby had some sort of cyst on his head that may or may not grow together on it’s own and it was a down syndrome indicator.  Thankfully it was the only indicator he found and judging by my blood work that I later got the results on…my blood was much younger than me.

When they told us the sex I cried.  It was a boy and true I really wanted a girl and when I tell people I cried they immediately assume it was because it was a boy.  True I was a lttle disappointed but like I said the whole appt was overwhelming.  Knowing the sex also kinda made the whole thing real and that I was really having a baby.  I don’t even know why I was surprised it was a boy……my husband’s family has mostly boys so the odds were..we’d have one too.  I’m just glad it was only one!  When I called my mom to tell her she laughed at me because she knew I’d have a boy too because I had wanted a girl so bad.

Our next appointment was scary too.  We opted not to get any more tests on the baby and prayed the cyst would growth together on it’s own which it did.  All the info I read on that was that the babies skull  hasn’t grown all the way yet and these cysts usually disappear as the skull forms.

To make a long story shorter…my 9 months went by with only minor difficulties.  My heart started racing alot around christmas and I couldn’t sleep.  One day at work I thought I was having a heart attack it was racing so fast.  I was told this was very common and tried not to worry.  About week 36 my blood pressure started going up and down which concerned the doctor a little bit.  My ankles swelled up and I was put on bed rest and stopped work about 37 weeks.  He also said the baby was rather large too and he was concerned about being able to deliver vaginally.  So with the issue of the blood pressure and size of the baby we scheduled the c-section for Tuesday 28 March 2006 and the rest is history.  I don’t even think about the fact that he’s a boy anymore!  LOL He’s just MY LITTLE BABY BOY!  He’s changed my life in more ways than I can imagine.

 Will I have more?  Sometimes I want more (not today after spending a couple of days with a fussy 1 year old) but I’m 41 now if I do decide I need to do something soon.  Whether it’s just letting nature take its course or going back to the doctor.  We’ll just have to wait and see.