Looking Back on 2009

I was sitting here looking back on my year.  It was a year of a lot of changes in our lives..good and bad but that’s just how life is.

At the beginning of the year I lost another baby and suffered a mild case of post-partum depression. It was not a planned pregnancy and although it caused a lot of stress since it wasn’t planned and because of my age and health … I was still excited about it.  I didn’t show it though and maybe that was from fear.  I thought everything was okay until we made a trip to Birmingham to see the genetic specialist when I was 12 weeks.  I could tell right away that something was wrong on the ultrasound.  I remember I didn’t talk all the way home except to call my mom and cry.  After a long talk with my husband and doctor we decided that baby making is over for me now. I still get a little upset when I hear of folks having more but they are all much younger and healthier.  It just wasn’t meant to be for me and that’s okay.  I’ve been blessed with one son who is the light of my life and that’s good enough for this 44 year old.

This year we dealt with the illness and eventual death of my mother-in-law.  Cancer is a horrible thing and we all know this.  It takes a toll on the victim and the family.  I actually got to see how truly sorry my husband’s siblings were by how they treated their mother.  She suffered horribly and needed them and they were not there.  I promised my own mother that I would never treat her that way. I’ll admit I could have been a better daughter-in-law but my husband was there for her and it was his mother….I do still feel guilt I didn’t help more though.  I guess we never really truly expected her to die since she was doing better.  We are still waiting for his siblings to help with funeral expenses…

We also lost two or three special pet friends this year too.  My mom lost her beloved Great Dane Angel and I lost my oldest cat Buster.  I want to say another of my mom’s dog died this year but maybe that was last year.  That was Muffy.

But the year wasn’t totally filled with sadness.  We’ve really had a great year considering.  Little boy is growing like a weed.  Full of imagination and energy. He’s learning so much and is so intuitive.  Sure he still wears me out but I wouldn’t change a thing.  Husband has expressed his creative side this year….didn’t know he had one but he has worked all year on decorating the yard with fancy Halloween decor and this Christmas he used his computer to set up an elaborate light show in our front yard which everyone has enjoyed.

Husband and I still have great jobs.  I left an organization that I’d been in for several years to start a new career which has turned out to be good for me and makes me feel good about my career again and it’s only getting better.

So for 2009 I bid you farewell……We will spend our last evening with you quietly at home.  We had an early dinner….4:30…(when all the old people go eat), then back home to go our separate ways….husband to his computer, I to mine and little boy to the TV to watch a cartoon network marathon.  We’ll meet back up later but more than likely will fall asleep before your end…..Happy New Year!

The New Year

The new year will bring me a better nights sleep…..yep I’m finally getting a new mattress. I made my husband go look and at first we were just going to get one at Sam’s Club since I didn’t want to spend a bunch of money again only to not be able to sleep on it. We went to Sam’s and hem hawed around and were about to decide to either wait until the next day or just go on to Home Depot and rent a truck to haul it when I said let’s run over to the mattress store near our house and just look. Then we wouldn’t have to worry about renting a truck, deposing of the old mattress and us trying to haul the king sized thing up the stairs. We went here, found one we could agree on and bought it. It  is a Stearns and Foster and will be delivered today..Yeah!

I’ve also been trying to get stuff done around the house…hanging curtain rods, putting my bathroom cabinet doors back on with new knobs and stripping wallpaper off the downstairs bathroom. It was a low priority home job and now it seems it is time. It’s going to take awhile though. I think we will replace the vanity and I’m thinking of applying a textured paint to the walls since they are not in good shape. I’m trying not to me impatient and do it like I want it. Husband is afraid removing the old vanity and repairing the wall behind it would be too much for us to do ourselves but I disagree. I told him if that’s what he thought then he could call the brother-in-law and take off work while he did it. Anybody who read my Home Improvement page knows I was completely unhappy over my brother-in-law and his remodeling efforts at our house. So don’t expect me to want to hire him…..  But again…I’m going to be patient and hopefully husband will help me. I just can’t do the stuff like replacing the vanity by myself.

The new year will also bring lots of changes at work.  True I have already changed jobs but the lady I’ve been mentored by is retiring in a few weeks and her job will become mine.  I’ve learned so much over the past couple of months and have 3-4 weeks to learn the rest.  Then I have to go off to school for three weeks and that’s going to be hard on our entire family since I’ll be out-of-town.  But I think in the end it will be great and I’m looking forward to the challenge.

I’m going to try and be more organized this next year.  I want to keep my scrapbook room neat and hopefully it will inspire me.  As I downloaded pictures today I saw some really good ones that will go well in the scrapbook.  I have another retreat coming up at the first part of March and hope to get a lot done there and be more organized this time.  I didn’t get much done at the last one because I didn’t have things planned out.

Weight control………yes that’s another change for the coming year.  I’m not going to say diet but I definitely need to make some changes.  I’m miserable and on top of that my knees are giving out with arthritis and the weight is a factor.  I just don’t feel good about myself physically or mentally. Things need to change…..I’m going to try…..

I guess we’ll wait and see what else the new year has in store….hope it’s more good things!

Merry Christmas….

It’s Christmas eve and I am at work. Thankfully, I’m only here half day and I won’t be back at the office until the new year. Nothing really going on which finally gives me a chance to write a post. It’s been a long time…..I have been at my new job since about October. I really like it and have settled in quite well I think. Sure I miss my other friends and co-workers but I don’t miss the drama that’s happening right now as they change management. This office is smaller and so far…no drama. I have even adapted very well to a regular schedule and I actually get to work on-time and with a good attitude….LOL.

My semi-supervisor will retire at the end of Jan and a few months after that I will assume her job which is both exciting and stressful.

Things at home are getting exciting as we await the arrival of Santa Claus. Little boy has really gotten in to the Christmas spirit and tells us every day that it is not Halloween time…it’s Santa Claus time. It tickles me when I pick him up from daycare and he shows me some pictures they’ve colored and points out Jesus, Jesus’ momma, Jesus’ Daddy and Jesus’ Momma’s horse. He is also singing lots of the Christmas songs he’s learned at school which is fun. They had their Christmas program last week which we had looked forward to seeing and just knew he’d be a ham and sing (even if it was the theme from Spiderman) but unfortunately they woke the children up from their naps (only 40 minutes) and little boy just stood on the stage rubbing his eyes and picking his nose. They should know better than to wake 3 year olds up and expect them to be perking. He was back to normal about 20 minutes after we got home. We had also expected him to be a sheperd in the program since he’d been one in practice but evidently he got demoted because he was not dressed as one on stage. Not sure if it was the Spiderman webs he was shooting in practice or the fact that the sheperds held cane poles and I can imagine he used it as a weapon…..

After the program we went to the Mall to see Santa and although he was kinda shy, little boy did tell Santa he wanted a Batman house.

The Batman house…..little boy has been talking about this house he saw at Target way back in the summer. It’s like a doll house for Batman and has a cave and a draw bridge and comes with a Batman figurine and Robin and a motorcycle I think…..of course I ordered one months ago and had it delivered to my mom’s. It will be under the tree tomorrow.

My Latest Scrapbook Retreat

I’d been waiting months to go to my next scrapbook retreat. We’d had such a blast and I got so much done last time. This trip we booked the smaller house and had a smaller group but got the same great food as we usually get…..the problem was….I didn’t have any thing to scrap really. I only truly finished maybe 4 pages and got maybe 3 started (need journaling or embellishments I forgot to bring). I was so disappointed in myself.

Last time I was completely organized, pulled together pictures, ideas, embellishments etc and divided everythng up in folders and would do one project at a time. This time, I didn’t even pack everything up until the morning I left.

And yes we got the same great food because one of the ladies who helps out at the big house did our cooking. There had been a death in the family of the owners of the retreat unfortunately but thankfully the folks who had the big house scheduled can cancelled so they didn’t have to worry about that…just us 8 in the small house and the found someone to take care of us.

I promised myself when we go back in March that I would be organized better. I hate to waste scrap time but I did enjoy a peaceful weekend on the lake, beautiful weather, good food and some good undisturbed football games!

Adopt me?

Although it’s a necessary thing to do sometimes….I hate having to find homes for animals. Seems I got in the loop for every animal lover I know. Someone will send them an email about a cat or dog needing a home and they forward to me. It’s not that I don’t want to help..I do…I just feel so guilty if I can’t take them or know anybody who can.

Another example is all the stray cats at my mom’s having kittens. They don’t always actually have them at my mom’s but I guess it’s the lucky ones that are born there because my mom either keeps them or we find homes. She’s got 4 four kittens now from two different mothers. Ned, who I introduced you to earlier will be kept by my mom. This is mostly because they became attached to him after his hernia surgery. He’s a beautiful boy and I would actually like to bring him home. Little Tabby only had the one kitten but her friend or child, Snowface had three kittens under my Mom’s deck. They are about 7-8 weeks now and still not 100% tame but my mom has them up on the porch and is trying to tame them. This of course means we have to find homes for them since my mom (nor I) can have any more.

Years ago I probably wouldn’t have thought a thing about finding homes for cats or kittens but it is sometimes hard to do when you know the person you give them to….like say when something happens to the animal. We are sometimes too picky about finding homes and sometimes that’s good and sometimes that’s bad. One cat (Ruby) had some kittens (several) and we put up a sign at the vet’s and a lady adopted two of them. She didn’t know my mom but called several weeks later to let my mom know how the kittens where doing only to upset my mom to find out this lady was letting them go outside when we thought they were two young to be out. One of the other kittens was adopted by a co-worker who I was actually afraid to let adopt because I didn’t know him well enough only to find out that that cat was loved so much it wasn’t funny. His daughters even had a birthday party for Daisy and they kept very good care of her.

Maybe we shouldn’t be so picky. A young girl at my old office had talked about wanting a cat. I know she lives at home with her parents and she had to ask her dad. They are wanting to adopt two of these newest kittens but I was afraid they’d just throw them outside so I had to quiz her. Now I’m afraid we’ll let her have them and something will happen to them and of course I’ll end up finding out and be upset.

It’s just really tough. I’m trying to remember that no matter what these kittens or any kitten has a better chance than they would if they were just running lose. Snowface’s previous litter of two didn’t last 6 months before they got run over. They were pretty feral but were coming to eat at my mom’s which most of the strays do and got hit going back across the road. I don’t want that same fate for Sheila, Sid, and TJ.

Angel

I haven’t posted anything in awhile but wanted to write about our dear Angel (seen in picture above..the black and white Great Dane). Angel passed away last week. She lived well beyond her life expectency for a dog that size. My brother found her laying half out of her dog house where she’d died during the night. We didn’t think she had long but you are never really prepared for that.
Angel did not believe she was a large dog. She would lay her head against you and lean towards you and if she was allowed in the house she’d be up on the couch in a heartbeat and in your lap. When she’d go into heat she would always carry around one of the dumb-bell sqeaky toys and take it to her “nest”..a hollowed out hole she liked to lay in.
It’s not going to be the same going to my mom’s and looking up not seeing her there in the dog pen. I want to find a better picture to post so one can fully appreciate what a sweet dog she was.

Home sick

After waking up this morning at the crack of dawn with a little boy who wanted to lay in bed and cuddle..then started crying because mama had to go take a shower….I really started to regret taking this new job.  I know this feeling is only temporary but needless to say I was feeling pretty homesick for my old job this morning.  With my old job, my comings and goings were pretty flexible.  My boss didn’t come in till 8 and heck the timekeeper (if she came in) came in between 8:30 and 9 (although she was suppose to be there at 7:30).  My boss was pretty flexible and as long as you did your work he didn’t watch you.  It usually all worked itself out.  One day you might be a few minutes late and the next you might have to stay or not get a lunch.  Although life was good there…..it wasn’t going to last forever because this boss will probably retire next year and I’m sure that kind of environment will not stay in place which is one of the reason I decided to leave while I could.

In my new job, it’s a very professional environment as far as comings and going.  Most of the office comes in at 6 or 6:30 and goes home early.  I think I’m the only one working the 9 hour days and I’m only doing that so I can still get every other friday off.  It’s really hard working 9 hours when in the afternoon it’s just you and the boss especially on fridays.  Hopefully this will get better once I know more about what’s going on.  I think part of the reason I’m depressed and homesick is because I haven’t actually been given much yet.

I pray life gets better here.  I’m sure it will…heck it’s only been two weeks…..

Meet Ned

This is Ned.  He’s a little kitten at my Mom’s.  Ned’s mother (a stray who comes to my Mom’s) brought him up a few times and he even crossed the road on his own a couple of times.  My mom was really worried about him but he really came to be a concern one day when they realized he had a cold and was pretty sick.  Because he was sick he was more tame than he had been and my Mom and brother noticed a big knot on his belly.  They took him to the vet to have him checked out and the big knot was what is called an umbilical hernia.  They left him at the vet to have it removed.  If it had not been fixed he would have died because those things get up in there and choke out the other organs or something like that….he would have died.  Although my mom doesn’t want or need anymore cats she felt she needed to help this little baby.  After his bandage and stitches were removed my brother built a nice big pen for him and they bring him in the house for a bit every day to socialize him.  He’s really sweet and although I said I didn’t need another cat (for the sake of my marriage) I may end up with him because…..they found one of the other stray females under the porch with may be three kittens.  She must have just had them too…..My mom is going to try and catch the female strays and get them fixed before they have more babies.  It’s a shame how some people just don’t realize where babies come from and get there cats fixed….there are so many strays that come to my mom’s.  Some she don’t know if they originate across the street at her neighbors or someone dumps one and it just multiplies..  It’s a never ending battle and we can’t save them all.  But we try….